Reading Materials
- This Brave Nation
- Stuff Stoners Like
- Blackle
- JBRhapsody Blog
- The Nation
- BushGREENWATCH
- In These Times
- Center For American Progress
- The Cost of War
- Gerbil's Music List
- CommonDreams
- 525Reasons
- The Archive-LLAMA
- The Progressive Magazine
- Stone-Leave No Unturned
- Friends of Cheese
- The Slip
- Jacob Fred Jazz Odyssey
- Jacob Fred Jazz Odyssey Setlists
- CounterPunch
- Jambands
- Jambase
- Cheese Photos
- Open Democracy
- BitTorrent
- Yonder Mountain String Band
- The String Cheese Incident
- GreenDisk
- Deadesq
- AlterNet
- The Independent
- The Future of Freedom Foundation
- Marijuana Policy Project
- Democracy For America
- Drug Policy Alliance
- The Daily Kos
- Sinclair Action
A Drip Into The Past
- March 14, 2004
- March 21, 2004
- March 28, 2004
- April 04, 2004
- April 11, 2004
- April 18, 2004
- April 25, 2004
- May 02, 2004
- May 09, 2004
- May 16, 2004
- May 23, 2004
- May 30, 2004
- June 06, 2004
- June 13, 2004
- June 20, 2004
- June 27, 2004
- July 04, 2004
- July 11, 2004
- July 18, 2004
- August 01, 2004
- August 15, 2004
- August 22, 2004
- August 29, 2004
- September 05, 2004
- September 12, 2004
- September 19, 2004
- September 26, 2004
- October 03, 2004
- October 10, 2004
- October 31, 2004
- November 07, 2004
- November 14, 2004
- November 21, 2004
- November 28, 2004
- December 05, 2004
- December 12, 2004
- December 19, 2004
- December 26, 2004
- January 16, 2005
- January 23, 2005
- January 30, 2005
- February 06, 2005
- February 13, 2005
- February 20, 2005
- February 27, 2005
- March 06, 2005
- April 03, 2005
- April 17, 2005
- April 24, 2005
- May 01, 2005
- May 08, 2005
- June 05, 2005
- August 21, 2005
- June 29, 2008
Put It In Your Pantry with Your Cupcakes
Saturday, April 03, 2004
US Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an
elementary school. After 5 minutes of speaking he
said, 'I will now answer any questions you have.'
Little Timmy stood up and said, 'I have four
questions:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than
Gore?
2. Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden?
3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to limit
civil liberties?
4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?'
Just then the bell went off and the kids rushed out to
play. Upon returning, Mr. Ashcroft said: 'I am sorry
we were interrupted. I will answer any questions you
have. '
Julie stood up and said, 'I have six questions:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than
Gore?
2. Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden?
3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to limit
civil liberties?
4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?
5. Why did the bell ring twenty minutes early?
6. Where's Timmy?'"
elementary school. After 5 minutes of speaking he
said, 'I will now answer any questions you have.'
Little Timmy stood up and said, 'I have four
questions:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than
Gore?
2. Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden?
3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to limit
civil liberties?
4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?'
Just then the bell went off and the kids rushed out to
play. Upon returning, Mr. Ashcroft said: 'I am sorry
we were interrupted. I will answer any questions you
have. '
Julie stood up and said, 'I have six questions:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than
Gore?
2. Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden?
3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to limit
civil liberties?
4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?
5. Why did the bell ring twenty minutes early?
6. Where's Timmy?'"
GOOD
Madison, WI policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD'. The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was a bit further down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS'and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)
BETTER
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in La Crosse, WI. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.
BEST
A Young woman was pulled over for speeding. As Wisconsin State Trooper Officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, 'I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball. 'He replied, 'Wisconsin State Troopers don't have balls.' There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left."
Madison, WI policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD'. The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was a bit further down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS'and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)
BETTER
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in La Crosse, WI. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.
BEST
A Young woman was pulled over for speeding. As Wisconsin State Trooper Officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, 'I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball. 'He replied, 'Wisconsin State Troopers don't have balls.' There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left."