Put It In Your Pantry with Your Cupcakes

Sunday, March 06, 2005

As Clinton Wins G.O.P. Friends, Her Rivals' Task Toughens

Yesterday. I woke up at noon and drove to campus to go to the gym, but there was a campus-wide event sucking up all of the parking in a one-mile radius.

I slammed on my brakes, jerked the wheel left, and pulled on the e-brake. My front tires bit into the asphalt and were eagerly overtaken by my rears. Flooring it, I reversed my velocity and was off like a dress on prom night. I had to get drunk.

Mind you, I had not yet eaten. I prefer to exercise on an empty stomach - makes me feel less fat. So, drinking at this point was going to hit me harder. I was greatly looking forward to this.

My roommates were sitting on the couch. I cussed sorely at them about not having parking, then downed two shots of Jim Beam. My one roommate joins me (the other gave up l'alcohol for Lent). I have a bowl of miso soup and cleanse my throat with a Sam Adams.

It occurs to me that I'm going to become dehydrated, so I pour a tall glass of Texas Sweet Tea and use it to chase a couple more shots of Beam. I remark to my roommate who is drinking with me that this is a "really good buzz" and that "I can feel the buzz in my legs!"

Some hours passed. I roasted chicken breasts and red potatoes in olive oil, rosemary, oregano, basil, salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes. A broad comes over with a bottle of Lemon Lime, that we may mix our Canadian Mist with something that isn't beer. We rent Infernal Affairs II.

The movie was great.

The broad was cold.

The whiskey was also great.

At 3 am I fell asleep.
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